"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." — Anaïs Nin

Maybe I'll change someone's world with these words. You never know.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


sometimes life throws lemonade at you! right in your eyes. gr. tonight it seemed that EVERYONE wanted me to be somewhere to help them. well, not everyone, just my sister and my mom. gr. i need to relocate and reboot MY BRAIN! THEN my trunk leaks bad so when i open it to put oh, say, my crochett work in it, everything gets soaked. but i learn to deal...which is the story of this life of mine.
I know it seems like i dont do anything most days, and im sorry, but i do a ton of things for my family that i could potentially be really stressed about... my sister and my mom are the root of this frustration. yes, i love them both, but AARGG! Nowadays i am the "main train" for the family. i am frustrated by this job because i very literally dont know most days whether i am coming or going. "take me here at such and such a time" " i need you to take me here and pick me up there" "tomorrow we are going...." do you see a reoccuring theme? nobody ever ASKS me to do anything, they ASSUME it.
now i KNOW that when i quit my job i took on the role of carpool mom and i dont go to school, which is another frustration in itself...dont ask... but still, even though i KNOW it is ASSUMED of me to do these things, all im asking for is a little "please" "would you" or "thank you" "i love you, are you free at this time to help me out?". MANNNN!!!!! i think ill go into my room and cry about it. the last time i cried for this VERY SAME REASON, was november and im ready to unleash the power of the.,...not sun, thats a different quote.....tear ducts? well, ill try at least.
now i know i appear to be the last person on earth that needs a day off, but i do. i want to go on a self road trip just anywhere. i really do. Get me away. so i can cry somewhere thats not my home. or BE somewhere thats not where i've been for the last THOUSAND YEARS!
ARG. i think im out of ways to decribe this feeling im in.

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